My Kind of Food for Thought

I love music. I mean, who doesn't listen to music? If there were such people, they'd have to be pretty boring (aside from those who are deaf, of course.)

Songs are things that I can be sure of. After a day where nothing is predictable, it comforts me to put on a set of earphones and be sure that I'll be hearing the lyrics that I know. I just can't get enough of music, especially the kinds that take me to places. Some songs are not just simple melodies to me - they're a state of mind.

Amazingly, I listen to just about anything. I know some people like to stick to a genre but it's just not for me. Why just have the appetizer when you have a main course and a dessert? Thats how I look at it. Its understandable that one might choose to remain loyal to a certain type of music, I just like being loyal to music in general. Who likes labels, anyway? Ok, some people do, but not I.

Stooges to Each Others Comedy

I'm very proud to say that I had a very productive day today - for my standards, at least. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning to go to church. Read the previous sentence very well. At the very start of the day, I did 2 things that I never EVER do willingly - I believe I've earned bragging rights for that.

No, I'm not lying. A few of my friends at the hostel where I live invited me to go to church, and so we did. It's amazing to see what you could accomplish when you've got a good plan and some willpower (2 things which I always seem to be running low on.)

Anyway, what I want to write about on this post is not about church, it's about something that I just realized about my hostel friends - three of them, to be more specific.

Lee, Lopez, and Robert.

First, Lee. In my perspective, he's the crazy one. He's easy to get along with and he's good company, especially if you're looking for laughs. The kind of laughs that take you over the edge of sanity. I'll tell you honestly, he can make a joke about anything and it'll be funny (anything).

Now, if the word 'badass' ever chose to live as a human being, I'm pretty sure it would take on a form in the image of Lopez. He's a real down to earth guy who knows who he is and shows confidence in himself. He's definitely the cool guy - and he's very blunt about it.

Last but not least; Robert. The wise one. He keeps a sense of maturity while still being able to be a versatile companion. He's got some Filipino blood and it's nice to feel a little bit of home when I'm spending time with him. He even speaks to me in Tagalog sometimes.

Believe me when I say that if you spend too much time with any one of these three, it won't be long until you get ticked off somehow - it takes a lot of patience to let them grow on you. But if you put them together, you'll feel your troubles wash away from your mind. It's like some sort of short term drug that keeps you from having a meltdown from stress. I swear, it's like a movie, where each person plays their own role to perfection. I'm really glad that I have these guys as my friends - and I fear the day that they no longer need to be college, which is the only reason I even met them.

Everything changes, everything moves on. I know that day will come, but for now, I don't care about it. It's too big of a problem to keep worrying about, so I just won't. Not now.

To Sleep, or Not to Sleep.

Today, I woke up twice. The first time was more of an involuntary reflex wherein my body told me to wake up for classes. Then I realized it was Saturday so without missing a beat, I sunk back to sleep. Now the good thing about the weekend is you can get all the sleep you want, and I love my sleep. The problem is that I hate waking up and realizing that half of my day was spent unconsciously in bed. Well, nobody can have everything :/

I have this ideal sleeping pattern that I just wish I could enter. It would be awesome if I could fall asleep the moment I chose, but thats not what I'm able to do. Sleeping time for me is when I've spent past 15 hours awake. I love my sleep, I just wish I knew how to control my sleeping habits. I lay down in bed and try to keep my eyes shut but then I keep thinking about all the stuff I could be doing. Owning a laptop is one of my biggest distractions - not to mention all the games I have in it.

Being a bit of an insomniac, I follow the 20 minute rule - which states that if I don't fall asleep within 20 minutes, I get up and do something else that might help me sleep like some light reading or anything of those likes. The problem is that I don't do light reading. I do really strenuous activities with hopes that I exhaust myself to sleep. I listen to music but then the lyrics just intrigue me which leads to some really groovy thoughts that keep me awake. Theres also the occasional cigarette, which really doesn't do me good in any way.

When all is said and done, I don't really know what I should do to fall asleep. I wish I did. I'll probably figure it out sometime in the future and think 'Wow, I should have thought of that years ago.'

Malaise with Malays

I'll admit it, I do have a self control problem. Most of the time, I'm avoiding things that I should do on purpose - even when I know what the consequences are.

Back in the Philippines, I was generally a very happy-go-lucky kind of guy who didn't care about priorities or financial budgeting. I did what I wanted, knowing that other people were doing that kind of stuff for me. Now that I'm in college (let alone, another country) I've come to realize that taking care of yourself means more than just eating right and getting proper exercise. Everything I need to do is now under my responsibility. I used to let my laundry pile up, now I take care of it after the first 3-4 items. I used to throw my stuff on the floor after use, now I just make sure to put everything where it should be before my bed turns into a jungle. Learning to live by myself is really enlightening. Not only am I studying at college, I'm also gaining experience that I can apply to my life right here and now.

Learning while learning to live. It's a pain, but I like it in many ways. I'm a bit of a glutton for troubles - I believe so because trouble seems to favor me. It's not the trouble that I find appealing, its the challenge of overcoming it. I do believe that a bit of suffering hardens you, keeps you strong, keeps you fighting - keeps you willing. Yes, it is tiring. Yes, it is brutal - but it is satisfying once accomplished. For me, happiness is overcoming your worries so I keep that in mind and use it as fuel to drive me.

What I find comforting is the fact that everyone at the hostel where I live is going through the same discomforts as me. I guess I must be doing something right - I'm still alive, after all. Seeing that I'm doing just as badly as everyone else gives me a sense of security - it tells me that things CAN get better if choose to make it better. Living with people who know how to procrastinate as much as I do isn't really a productive environment but we all know that when you gotta do it, you gotta do it. I'm not saying they're bad influences, they're nice guys who are just trying to make it through college life - like everyone else. They're a lot of help too. I've learned so much from them and I'm thankful that I got to know them. I try to get all the help that I can - you don't need to make life hard because life is hard enough on it's own.

Life will kill you if you don't live.

It's a real treat when you find your capabilities and figure out how to stretch them to places much further. When I discovered my limits, it was very liberating - strange, huh?

What I enjoy the most is lying on my bed at the end of the day, thinking 'Wow, I didn't know I could do that much...'